Sunday, June 29, 2014

Move two steps to your right

The Reidsville Review captures the magic of BLET at RCC.  Everyone move two steps to your right, shave your head, make sure you're male, and white.  

The perfect chump

Does anyone other than John Hood, President of the John Locke Foundation, ever get a letter to the editor published in the Reidsville Review?  I'm sure Mr. Hood never even reads the Review, but he does know how to mass email to dozens of newspapers across North Carolina and hope one or two will print his message.  Congratulations, Mr. Hood, you've found the perfect chump who will print anything to fill space on its editorial page.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Eden gets punched in the nuts

Katie Mann, who is holding down the fort for Danielle Battaglia, has punched downtown Eden in the nuts with her not so nice Reidsville Review report on the state of The Boulevard.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

So, how's it goin'?

Responding to the Mayor's recent televised criticism of local media for never interviewing him, Jay Donecker is called in for a Reidsville Review grilling about his time in office.

The Review kicks off the interview with a snappy question: "How are things going so far?"

To which the Mayor replies "It’s actually going very well."

The Review is already missing Danielle Battaglia.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Battaglia gets kicked upstairs

Former Reidsville Review Ron Price reporter Danielle Battaglia has been officially promoted to the Greensboro News.  One of Battaglia's first stories is about Rockingham County's oily towels always catching fire.  I'm sure the Review is relieved to be rid of Battaglia's lawsuit baiting stories about Mr. Price.  Oily towels are not as likely to sue the Greensboro News.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Passed around like a cheap hooker

We can't be certain from reading her article, but it seems Ron Price reporter Danielle Battaglia is transferring to the News and Record.  I don't think we'll be able to tell the difference when she's moved, but you never know how it will go down.  It will depend on how bad the reporter who replaces Danielle is.  Will the replacement be just bad or profoundly awful?

The Review and the News and Record are the same newspaper now that Warren Buffet has bought both rags.  The two papers regularly share stories and reporters are passed around like cheap hookers. 

I'm not even sure what it means to say Danielle has transferred to the News and Record.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Reidsville not selected

You will probably be more than a little disappointed that Fodor's travel guides has not selected Reidsville as one of the country's finest small towns

Monday, June 9, 2014

Libby Hill closes

Libby Hill of Danville has closed.  Expect the Reidsville restaurant to go down soon.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Hometown Heroes night

Reidsville Mayor James Tiberius Festerman waves to the fans before suiting up to pitch for the Greensboro Grasshoppers.  Thanks to Festerman's fastball the Hoppers won 15-5 against the Hagerstown (MD) Suns.  Saturday's game was the third in a straight series of four games against the Suns.  The Suns won Thursday night, the Grasshoppers won Friday and Saturday nights.  Without Festerman to assist the Hoppers we're guessing the Suns will win Sunday night.

Saturday was a Reidsville Hometown Heroes night at the Grasshoppers' park.  A total of 7,001 fans turned out to see Festerman.

This green whatchamacallit is supposed to be the mascot for the Greensboro Grasshoppers.  It's green but that's about the only similarity it has to a grasshopper.  It looks more like a cross between a troll and a bug of some sorts.
I suppose it helps if you like baseball, but spending 3-1/2 hours at a Grasshoppers game is not a bad way to spend a Saturday night in Reidsville.  Games are spiced up with a giant TV screen, Sumo wrestling, t-shirt cannons, fireworks, and ball and bat chasing dogs to keep things interesting.P.S.
Two Suns were ejected from the game - one was a coach for sassing an umpire about something (I was buying a $5.00 hot dog at the time) and a second one for sassing the umpire for calling a strike on him.  The Grasshopper fans loved the ejections which made me wonder if the ejections were were part of the theater of the night.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Walmart provides shoplifting defense for small businesses

What did shoplifters do before Walmart came to Rockingham County?

I know it's a bit hard to believe, but the Reidsville Review is reporting another possible case of shoplifting at Walmart.  This time it's the Eden Walmart.  The Walmart does not yet have names for the two suspects.  Walmart is requesting the public's help with identifying the culprits.  If you recognize either of these suspects, keep it to yourself.

Somebody is shoplifting from Rockingham County's Walmarts every single day of the week.  In the time it took you read this story somebody shoplifted at Walmart.  Sadly, most suspects are not Reidsville's #1 employee and are not immediately recognized.

National Doughnut Day!

It's time to get excited.  I mean really excited.

Go hug a doughnut and thank Jesus for giving us the sweet round pastry with a hole in the middle.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Mayor calls out the media

Mayor Jay Donecker munches a taxpayer supplied doughnut at a gleefully decorated City Hall while discussing the need for a tax increase with Reidsville Review reporter Bev Smalls.

Mayor Jay Donecker unleashed a shitstorm when he was heard in a television interview decrying the local media (Reidsville Review) for its failure to report the news.  Donecker said the local media focuses on stories that sizzle (Confederate monument) but ignore stories about the city that really matter.  Donecker complimented WGSR for its free monthly television coverage of himself, but accused all other media of failing to provide citizens with adequate information.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Take your gun out to the old ball game

Sonic and Chili's restaurants were in the news this week.  The NRA lectured its members about the bad habit of carrying their guns into restaurants where guns are not welcome.  Some gun owners are now threatening to tear up their NRA membership cards because the NRA is not supporting their efforts to make a point about the Second Amendment.  The controversy is a bit amusing.

The news made me wonder how the NRA would feel about their members packing heat at Dixie League ball games at Rockingham County schools.  This week a coach pitch ball game for a 7 and 8 year boys and girls team at Bethany Charter School featured a pistol packing dude who was a spectator with the Bombers. 

He never pulled the semi-automatic pistol out of its holster and there were no gunshot victims, but the Bombers beat the Young Guns 11-7.

I also wonder how Sheriff's Department would feel about the blatant display of a firearm.  It is a felony in NC to carry a gun on school property.  It does not matter whether the gun is concealed or not.

I support the Second Amendment, but I have to admit I was uncomfortable watching that pistol march around 7 year old kids who were playing ball.  I had to wonder whether the guy was a nutjob or just unfamiliar with the law and had a horrible lack of good taste.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Reidsville scores big with Credit Donkey!

Credit Donkey has rated Reidsville as the #10 best place to live in NC.  Note Reidsville has the lowest income of the state's top rated cities.  All hail Credit Donkey.

Scoble beats the rap

She wasn't feeling well enough to appear in court, so her lawyer stood in for her.

Walmart says she took $50.22 worth of doggie treats and toothbrushes, but she only has to repay $34.82.

The Reidsville Review has the complete scoop.