This is a clever one

This is a clever one - a Reidsville Review poll asking whether readers vote in online polls.  Amazingly four people have answered "No".

Ron Price acolyte seeks Commissioner seat

Ron Price acolyte and School Board member Josh Austin has announced he is running for the Rockingham County Board of Commissioners.

Austin joins six other Republicans and a single Democrat in the race to the top.  Filing ends Monday December 21 at noon.

Eden has gone to hell!

Eden has gone to hell!

Eden's leadership and the Chamber of Commerce are not going to like this:

Don't watch this video. It's evil!

The same video could also be about Reidsville.

Praise Jesus! Commissioner Mabe is free!

He's been good, very good.  After spending 28 days of a 60 day sentence in jail for drankin' and drivin', Rockingham County Commissioner Keith Mabe has been set free.  Praise Jesus!

Irony

Chicago police officer Jason Van Dyke has been released on a bond of $1.5 million dollars after being charged with murdering a 17-year-old high school student.  The murder was captured on a police camera video.  The high school kid was shot 16 times in 14 seconds while laying on the ground.  Prior to being charged with murder, Van Dyke worked a desk job for the Chicago police for more than a year between the murder and the charges being filed.  Chicago police are raising money to support Van Dyke's family during this trying time.

Tommy Woodall remains in the Rockingham County jail on a $5 million bond after being charged with diddling two teenage girls who were hooking to support their family.  Mickey Snow is in jail on the same charge.  His bond is $25 million.

Infantile polls

It's hard to believe, but the Reidsville Review continues to outdo itself with infantile polls.

Gone

Tommy Harrington has passed away.

Are they sure they arrested the right guy?

             A real news source                 The Reidsville Review

Are they sure they arrested the right guy?

Commissioner sentenced to 60 days

It comes as no surprise that Rockingham County Commissioner Keith Mabe has been sentenced to 60 days in jail for a DUI charge.

The irony is Mabe is not the only current and past Commissioner who should be serving jail time for their actions on the Board.  Several Commissioners are walking free when they should be jailed

Review says don't worry, everything is fine

Don't worry about a thing.  I know the hamburger meat looks a little raw.  Well, actually it looks a lot raw.  But, the Reidsville Review has assured its readers that the new quarter-pounder is perfectly cooked.  The school children who ate the meat at the Reidsville High cafeteria are perfectly safe.  Odds are very few students ate the meat anyway.  Obviously, the student who took this photo wasn't impressed with his lunch.

The instructions say the meat was supposed to be baked, but school cafeteria decided to steam the meat.  The Review says steaming is what gave the meat an unappetizing appearance.

Don't worry, everything is fine says the Review.

Want to be better in bed? Read the Review.

In case you were getting a little tired of the Reidsville Review's online Farmers Insurance video, it's been replaced with a tight butt shot for a testosterone supplement.  The tight butt appears to be washing a car in cut-off jean shorts - always a people pleaser.

Buy the Reidsville Country Club

It's for sale!  Yeap, Reidsville's beloved Country Club is on the market.  A sure bargain at $595,000.  Includes a stately clubhouse, a golf course, a swimming pool, tennis courts and plenty of snobbery.

Buy the Reidsville Country Club

Rockingham County makes the big time

Celebrate the good times.  Rockingham County has been named one of the unhealthiest counties in the state.

The profound question of the ages

The profound question of the ages...is a hot dog a sandwich?  Two people believe it is not a sandwich.  One says yes it is.

But the best answer is "don't like hot dogs".

This has got to be a movie boy Dallas Britt poll.

Back in the saddle again

He's back!

He had a dust-up with Food Lion and the beach Poe-Lease, but it didn't hurt him one bit.  The peoples love him!  These are the same peoples who have never attended a City Council meeting with Festerman at the helm.

Review features seafood votes

Wow!  Now I know why Libby Hill stays packed all the time.  All six readers of the Reidsville Review "enjoy seafood".  Vote now to register your opinion.

Reidsville Roll rolls into Reidsville

It's official!  Reidsville has become so famous it now has a sushi roll named after the city.  The mixture of crabstick, cream cheese and cucumber wrapped in seaweed and rice is served with wasabi (the green blob) and ginger.  Six "Reidsville Rolls" runs about $7.00 at Taste of Japon on Freeway Drive.  It's a bit tricky getting to Taste of Japan, what with the six-year plus road construction project, but it's worth the circumnavigation to taste the "Reidsville Roll".

Nothing goes with a Reidsville Roll like Yaki Soba..

We know it's not biscuits or pizza, Reidsville's two facorite foods, but it's still pretty tasty stuff.

Reidsville Review switches it up

The Reidsville Review's Halloween decorations poll wasn't working out very well, so the Review switched to a poll to inquire about reader views on crashing into a parked car.

Three Review readers would leave a note, two say it "depends".  What's your feelings on crashing into a parked car?

Help the Review out of a jam

The Reidsville Review's Halloween poll is being pretty much ignored by its readers.  This is an indication the poll is not being shared with the Greensboro News.

Please help the Review out of a jam by responding to its Halloween poll.

Thank you.

Sad news in Rockingham County

Can you spot the former Rockingham County Commissioner in this group?

Hint:  We was a very funny guy and threatened to beat my ass on a couple of occasions.

I have to wonder what the team was called.  Notice the Confederate flag planted in front of the group.

More news about the Commissioner coming soon.

Teenage hookers making elderly smile

See something?  Say something.

The City of Eden's embarrassment continues to grow.  A fourth old man is being sought for involvement in the Tommy Woodall teenage hooker incident.  The suspect is believed to have possibly fled to Florida.  If you see an old man who looks a little too happy, call the Eden Poe-Lease.

A once famous County Commissioner

A miniaturized W.L. "Dubby" Pryor presents a $100,000 check to Rockingham County Community College.  Dubby was once famous for his good works, vast wealth and for being a super wonderful human being and County Commissioner. 

Dubby was the first person to receive free money from Rockingham County for connecting his housing development to the W.L. Pryor Memorial Waterline that quite coincidentally runs past Dubby's property from Reidsville to the Dynegy gas turbine power plant. 

Although Dynegy protested the waterline, saying a well on the Dynegy property was adequate, the Commissioners were certain a 20-mile waterline was needed for Dynegy.  Millions of gallons of water are poured out onto the ground weekly to keep the water from going stale in the little used line.  It seems few people wanted to connect to Dubby's waterline.

Dubby is also the first person to accuse the Neely Chronicle of being a front for a Communist propaganda machine (Russian or Chinese) because the Chronicle criticized the Rockingham County Commissioners.

Note that's RCC Presudent Bobby Keys on the far right.  This is a rare photo of Bobby without all his turquoise bling.

The News-Record and the Review have thus far protected Dubby's elderly fan base from the news of his possible involvement in an illegal gambling operation.  Only Star News, RCENO, and the Reidsville Review Review have reported the raid on Dubby's Ruffin Ranch.

It would have been much better if Dubby were suspected of defrauding the elderly out of their pensions, but a gambling charge will have to do in a pinch, if he is convicted.

Another County Commissioner suspected

He was once billed as the most powerful, the wealthiest man in Rockingham County.  He was once on the Board at RCC and practically every other board in the county. He ran a loan company.  He ran the Economic Development Commission.  He was a Rockingham County Commissioner.  He ran for state office.  Dubby Pryor ruled Rockingham County.

Sadly Dubby Pryor is reported to have fallen on some hard times.  Things are not what they once were for Dubby Pryor.  A bankruptcy may be involved, a heart attack, and unrelenting abuse from the Neely Chronicle who suspected Dubby was always up to no good.

Now things have gone from bad to worse.  Dubby is suspected of involvement in an illegal gambling operation on his Ruffin estate.  Rockingham County sheriff's deputies raided Dubby's ranch and confiscated evidence of a sweepstakes operation.

Rockingham County District Attorney Craig Blitzer will present his case to a grand jury on October 5th.

I hope Blitzer can keep The Zero and Dubby cases straight.

Pizza rulez!

My memory is fading a bit in my later years.  Help me out here. 

Is the recently closed Sonic on Freeway Drive the third or fourth Sonic in Reidsville?

Anyone who would open a Sonic in Reidsville must have some loose screws in their head.  

Pizza rulez in Reidsville!

Tommy Woodall busted for sex offense

Sixty-six year old Draper barber Tommy Woodall has been busted for 12 counts of sex with two teenage girls.  Woodall is being held in the Rockingham County jail under a $5,000,000 bond.

A few years ago we were hired by the City of Eden to make a video production of the city.  Part of the assignment was to film different sections of Eden, including Tommy Woodall's barber shop.

We took our camera to Draper, made a few shots, including filming Woodall's barber shop from the public sidewalk.  Woodall's was closed at the time, so we made no effort to film inside or even set foot on the Woodall property.

We continued down the sidewalk, filming other locations as we went along.  Within minutes we were stopped in the parking lot of Jerry's Restaurant by the Eden Police.  Tommy Woodall was tagging along with the cops.  The agitated Woodall had called the Police on us.  He demanded to know what we were doing.  Why we were filming and who gave us permission to film his barber shop.  It was quite a scene.  Woodall demanded justice be done, the police seemed confused, and we were more than a little bit pissed off at Woodall for acting like such a damned fool over potentially getting some free publicity for his barber shop.

After several minutes of explanation and re-explanation, we agreed to never use any video of the outside of Woodall's building.  The police were satisfied.  Tommy Woodall wasn't satisfied. There seemed no way Woodall could persuade the cop to arrest us and confiscate our camera.

We reported our problem to the City of Eden.  They seemed to understand the dilemma. We were given an interior photo of Woodall's and told to use that instead of any video we might have captured from the sidewalk.  You can see the interior ceiling of Woodall's at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvhDlbuY6pA  Watch at the 3:09 mark.  It goes quickly, so watch carefully.

Apparently, Woodall had a well-known reputation as an asshole.  It's so sad to hear he has been locked up for allegedly screwing some little girls.  The girls were reportedly pimped out by their mother.  The whole thing should have been a cakewalk for the happy-go-lucky Woodall, but a nosy neighbor got involved and called the cops on Mr. Personality.

The news is reporting the screwing took place at Woodall's Barber Shop.

Click here to get the scoop.

The Ron Price Sign Law

Rockingham County Elections Director Tina Cardwell describes the newly enacted Ron Price sign law:

From: Tina Cardwell	7:50 AM (8 hours ago)
to bcc: me

General Statute 14-384 makes it a misdemeanor to remove lawfully placed signs, including political signs.  Complaints as to an alleged violation of this criminal statute should be directed to law enforcement by the complaining party, not the County Board of Elections.  

There is also a provision in General Statute 163-32(e) that makes it a misdemeanor to remove lawfully placed signs on right-of-ways.  An alleged violation of this statute should also be reported to local law enforcement by the complaining party.

Please note 163-32(b).  This section of the statute describes the period as to when it is lawful for political signs to be placed on right-of-ways.

Copies of General Statutes 14-384 and 163-32 attached.

Tina Cardwell, Director

Rockingham County Board of Elections
P.O. Box 22

Wentworth, NC 27375
(336) 342-8110 Phone
(336) 342-8228 Fax

Pinto beans, spinach and pineapple

Carolyn Booth of the Reidsville Review has been kind enough to publish the lunch menu for year-round schools in Rockingham County.  If your student attends regular school, then there will be no menu for you.

Friday looks particularly delicious...the vegetable medley, pineapple, and assorted fruit are outstanding.

Thursday's pinto beans, spinach, and applesauce are sure to fill lots of little tummies.

Contact Carolyn at 627-1781 if you have any questions or complaints about the menu.

Will you marry me?

The Reidsville Review probes the deep sociological issues of our time.

Mayor and Credit Donkey suffer serious setback

Mayor Jay Donecker and www.CreditDonkey.com suffered a serious setback when Reidsville was not selected as one of the finest cities in the state of North Carolina.  Unfortunately, Eden was not selected either.

Click here to see the list of top 18 small cities in the state.

Everybody wants a piece of Keith Mabe

Everybody wants a piece of the Ketih Mabe action.  Reidsville Review cub reporter Dallas Britt somehow ties the drunk driving and doping charges against County Commissioner Keith Mabe to a new plan to pick up trash for recycling.  Britt never defines which and how the trash will be recycled, but he slickly connects it to Keith Mabe in the first sentence.  We can only guess somehow the trash will be separated "in light of the Keith Mabe situation."

James Festerman is running again!

It's official!  Hurrah!

He may not be able to remember where he buys his groceries, and he has some very unusual friends, but the people love him and he is running for Reidsville City Council.

From the Rockingham County Board of Elections:

1 candidate filed for office for the City of Reidsville today.

James Festerman - Reidsville Councilman (District B)

Updated Candidate List attached.

Candidate Filing for Reidsville will resume on Monday, August 17th at 8:00 am.

Vote Trump!

There it is.  In black and white.  I changed my party affiliation this week.  I now officially belong to the party of alleged drunk driver and doper Keith Mabe and alleged political sign thief Ron Price.

I can't say that it feels good.  Being in a group with Keith Mabe and Ron Price is not something to be proud of, but there is a reason behind my madness and it's only temporary.

I want to vote in the Republican presidential primary.  I want Donald Trump to win.  No, not the office of the President, but I want him to win the Republican primary.  I want to be guaranteed a place in the long line of Republican voters who will put him up against somebody else.  I am convinced Trump will lose in the general election, no matter who he runs against.  So, I want to make sure Trump wins the primary election.

Trump reminds me of every asshole I ever worked for in my former life.  The assholes I worked for weren't rich like The Donald, but they had the Trump swagger.  Trump is loud and obnoxious.  Donald Trump knows everything about everything.  He is the ultimate authority and there is no point in arguing with him because he is always right about everything.  Trump will answer your question before you can even ask it.  Yeap, Donald Trump is the man!

If you care about our country, vote Trump in the March primary.

Commissioner Mabe's blood alcohol mystery

Almost a month ago Rockingham County Commissioner Keith Mabe was busted for the second time for DUI.  I've looked high and low for his blood alcohol content at the time of his arrest.  It's nowhere to be found.  Keith blew a 0.19 on his first arrest, but the second arrest test is a mystery.  He refused to blow and instead had his blood drawn and sent for testing at the State Bureau of Investigation.  Nobody seems to know Commissioner Mabe's blood alcohol content from his second arrest.

I guess I now understand why thousands of rape kits go untested for DNA.  The SBI is in no hurry.

Crafty Review readers plan to fill tanks

Crafty Reidsville Review readers are planning to fill their gas tanks when the little needle points towards "E".

Are you afraid of clowns?

The vote is in...Reidsville Review readers don't give a shit about clowns.

Speaking of clowns...today is Keith Mabe's big day in court for his first DUI charge and two drug possession charges.

Apply within....no experience necessary

The Reidsville Review is looking for a reporter.  This can mean only one thing...somebody is leaving because they are certainly not expanding the staff.  Has anyone heard who is quitting?  Please don't tell me it's Sideways Boy Dallas Britt.

Are you concerned with the U.S. dollar and the market?

Anytime you see a Reidsville Review poll, like this one relating to concern for the U.S. dollar and markets, and with 125 votes in a matter of minutes, you know the poll is a copy of one at the Greensboro News.  A quick check confirms the Review is too lazy to creates its own poll.

Attack of the Sideways Man

He's back!  Sideways Man Dallas Britt has struck again.

Disgruntled Republican steals campaign signs

I keep getting the strangest emails from Holy Mangus.  The latest one is about a Republican who was charged with stealing campaign signs and then he went berserk and shot up a movie theater in Lafayette, La., klling two people and wounding several others.

I don't know why I am getting these emails...I mean I've never stolen any campaign signs or shot up any movie theaters.  Very strange.

The only Republican I know who was charged with stealing campaign signs is Rockingham County School Board member Ron Price.

Go to www.reidsville.com

A memo to the City Council

I know the Reidsville City Council is very busy, especially with the Confederate Monument vandalism and the Garcia Johnson thing.  I'm afraid they don't have time to see and hear all the news,  So, I sent them a helpful reminder about the latest Eden/Reidsville survey.
Angela, Clark, hairstonwillia., hlbrown56, Jay, Sherri, dbracken, rhassell, Tom, Donald, bcc: Debbie

Because none of you ever answer your email, it's kinda hard to tell who is active on the internet and who is not.

You may recall Mayor Donecker crowing about how Reidsville has been named one of the finest places to live in NC.  His opinions were guided by a web site called Credit Donkey.  Credit Donkey thought Reidsville was just swell and therefore the Mayor proclaimed Reidsville as the best.

Now it seems there's a web site with a conflicting opinion of Reidsville and Eden.  I wanted to make sure you know about another view of our beloved city.  Eden was picked as #9 and Reidsville came in as #11 out of the worst places to live in the entire state.  

The competition was fierce, but we had a decent showing.  146 NC towns were evaluated.   With the Confederate Monument vandalism and the Garcia Johnson incident, we might can catch Eden in the next survey.

Anyway, here's the link to the survey:

.http://www.roadsnacks.net/places-in-north-carolina-who-need-a-hug/ 

Because we didn't make the top ten, you'll have to scroll down the page to see Reidsville.  But, there's always next year!

Enjoy,

Ricardo Montoban

P.S.

Eden's Sylvia Grogan was so incensed about the ratings that she ordered all Eden residents to avoid the web site and not to discuss the findings.  In case you don't know, Sylvia is deceased Eden Mayor John Grogan's wife.  Mayor Donecker might want to consider issuing a similar edict to Reidsville residents.

Bad to the Bone: Eden and Reidsville Recognized!

Eden and Reidsville have been selected as the 9th and 11th worst cities to live in North Carolina.

146 NC cities were ranked based on population, education, crime, and economics.

It will be interesting to hear Reidsville Mayor Jay Donecker's comments on this finding.  He certainly did a lot of bragging when Creditdonkey picked Reidsville as one of the best places to live

Read about Eden and Reidsville's dubious distinction here.

Go to www.reidsville.com to get an idea why Eden and Reidsville were chosen as the worst places.

Virginia Foxx least sexy Congress person

North Carolina's Virginia Foxx was selected as the least sexy from a reader poll of more than 500 representatives to the U.S. Congress

# 533
VIRGINIA FOXX

House - North Carolina 5
Republican

Go to Sexy Congress for complete ranking

Go to www.reidsville.com