The Reidsville Review: The Sharknado of Newspapers. Find this site at www.reidsville.review
Monday, December 15, 2014
Commissioner cops PAREGORIC plea
Commissioner Keith Mabe has decided to cop a PAREGORIC plea. Mabe claims he crashed his truck after taking four sips of a PAREGORIC elixir that belonged to his deceased aunt. Mabe says he took the anti-diarrhea medicine to relieve back pain.
Mabe blew a .19 on his breath test, but his back feels better and he doesn't have the squirts. The legal limit is .08.
I don't suppose there is any need to remind you how horrible PAREGORIC tastes. You probably remember the foul taste from your youth. I would take a hell of a man to drink enough PAREGORIC to register a .19. Four sips wouldn't do it.
Oh, yeah, he also dropped his cellphone and was reaching on the floor for it when the crash occurred. I tell you this in case you don't believe the PAREGORIC story.
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