Monday, December 15, 2014

Commissioner cops PAREGORIC plea

Commissioner Keith Mabe has decided to cop a PAREGORIC plea.  Mabe claims he crashed his truck after taking four sips of a PAREGORIC elixir that belonged to his deceased aunt.  Mabe says he took the anti-diarrhea medicine to relieve back pain.

Mabe blew a .19 on his breath test, but his back feels better and he doesn't have the squirts.  The legal limit is .08.

I don't suppose there is any need to remind you how horrible PAREGORIC tastes.  You probably remember the foul taste from your youth.  I would take a hell of a man to drink enough PAREGORIC to register a .19.  Four sips wouldn't do it.

Oh, yeah, he also dropped his cellphone and was reaching on the floor for it when the crash occurred.  I tell you this in case you don't believe the PAREGORIC story.

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